Journal #9

This time revising my essay, I spent the most time focusing on adding depth to my essay. When I write narratives, I typically write it in a very linear style, telling about event after event but not investing enough in the emotional aspects of each moment. In other words, I get so caught up telling what happened that I forget to say why it is important. While revising, I added what I felt at different important moments in the essay so I could connect that back to my conclusion. Another aspect of my essay I spent time revising was organization. I decided to move my descriptions of my grandparents to the beginning of my essay, so I could introduce the reader to them before going into detail about what they did during the night. This, I believe, made my essay much more meaningful and easier to understand. In terms of what I could change, there isn’t much. I think maybe adding another peer review could help, but this essay didn’t have enough depth to make that necessary. The process overall was very similar to what I did in high school, but the individual steps were much more helpful. Meeting with the teacher in person at a scheduled time helped me to focus on the bigger problems within my essay. In high school, this step was usually up to the student to schedule time for a meeting, and it was never certain whether the teacher would be able to read without distractions. The peer review, being a written assignment out of class, was infinitely more helpful than previous peer reviews where classmates would simply tell you how great your essay is. This project very much fit my expectations for the class. It took concepts that we were familiar with in writing and expanded on them in a way that benefitted my writing skills.