Journal Entries
Journal #1
In the piece of writing Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace, the idea of the Maine tradition of cooking lobster, as well as cooking lobster itself, is looked into with much greater detail than would normally be used. He discusses the cruel ways in which lobster is cooked, from being boiled alive, steamed, or having it’s limbs and tail cut off. It forces the reader to question the humanity of these traditions, and whether or not this tradition should be continued as a result. The reason this piece of writing is so interesting and unique is because it not only explores an obscure topic, but also because it provides evidence and perspectives from both sides of the argument. It employs people from both sides, using their opinions as well as quoting them, to build an overall broader perspective on the issue. Normally, writing like this uses perspectives from one side, supporting an opinion that is usually held by the writer. The implications of these unique aspects of his writing is that it opens up the reader to a different way of looking at things. Rather than grab evidence in support of your cause and using it in an argument, this opens people up to the idea of gaining a full perspective on an issue before formulating an opinion. It also forces people to factor in the unknown, and accept that not everything can be known about every topic being investigated. Sometimes, these unknown bits of information could be the deciding factor in winning an argument. However, without this information available, different areas of information must be investigated to form the best possible opinion.
Journal#2
Throughout my writing career, I’ve had many different experiences drafting my own writing projects. With certain topics, writing comes easy to me, and all I need to do is create a broad outline of my ideas and develop them as I write. Other times, drafting can be extremely difficult, and I need to rewrite an entire essay to convey my ideas properly. However, My drafting process usually follows the same general layout and accomplishes the same goal every time. Before I start writing, I always create some type of outline for my work, and sort out where I want to put the ideas in my head. Generally, I think of the body paragraphs first, so I can properly introduce the ideas I have and want to convey in my writing. Once this is done, I gather my evidence and sort it in a way that will make the most sense and impact on the reader. Once this is done, I plan my first paragraph and create a broad introduction with a hook that relates the introduction to what I’m writing about. Then, once I write the essay, I check to see whether more evidence will better support my point, and if the order the essay is in makes the most sense. If not, I begin editing, rearranging and gathering more evidence to fix the problems. After this is done, I check what will be my final draft for simple sentence and structural errors, and make sure that I tie my evidence to my ideas in the best way possible. Once this is done, I edit my introductory and concluding paragraphs so they match all my new ideas.
Journal #3
It is a warm, breezy Spring day in the middle of a busy Pennsylvania highway. The air is sweet, fresh with the scent of fresh grown leaves and grass. The breeze is cooling, enough to prevent sweating but not so much to create discomfort. The sky is free of clouds, and the sun sits in the center of the sky. The scent of emissions begins to pick up, as more and more cars travel along the road. The sound of cars passing by increases; the rubber of the tires gripping the road, and the air whizzing as cars pass through it. Sunlight reflects off the car paint, sparkling sporadically and beautifully with great luminescence. Suddenly, something goes awry. A small, blue car loses control, screeching as it fishtails back and forth across the road. The brakes scream and rubber burns off the tires, leaving distinct marks on the road. The front right side of the car smashes into the back left side of a small white pickup truck, crumpling the metal and sending the truck into the center of the lanes. More cars come from behind, unable to stop in time to prevent a collision. They too crash into the truck, demolishing it and the front of their vehicles. Metal crumples and bends as the force of the impact tears it apart, creating a deafening sound. Windows shatter, and people can be heard screaming in their cars. The collision is over as fast as it started; the smell of gasoline permeates the air, whisking away the pleasant smell of spring. The breeze brings more unpleasant scents with it: burning rubber, fuel, and oil. People begin to get out of their cars, bloodied and injured. Glass spills out of car doors and off of dashboards. The bent hinges squeak as they are forced open. Light reflects off the newly created bends in the metal, sending beams out in random directions. The beauty of spring fades, as a new scene of carnage emerges on the highway.
Journal #4
In this section of They Say I Say, new methods of writing, particularly argumentative and academic essays, are investigated. Typically in a high school level writing class, students are taught to formulate an opinion on a particular issue, gather evidence in support of that issue, and write an essay on it. This only presents the reader to one very narrow point of view on an issue, and leaves no room for insight or questioning. This section, however, introduces methods and templates to combat this mundane style of writing. It teaches the reader how to employ not only the thoughts and ideas that support you more effectively, but also teaches how to use the words and opinions of dissenting voices within an essay. It does this by providing templates of introducing different types of quotes. The part of the reading I found most important was how to explain quotes in context. If quotes are simply inserted randomly within an essay, then the reader is left confused about what the point of the quote is. However, when the quote is properly introduced and explained, the reader is able to see why the quote is important and draw more information from it. It also shows the reader how to use opposing opinions by explaining why the opposition has a point, but then providing counter-evidence, thus nullifying their argument. This is important because it answers the reader’s questions about the opposing opinions, broadening their perspective while also strengthening your argument.
Journal #5
In this section of They Say I Say, new methods of introducing and explaining quotes are shown. Once again, the book uses an outline style formatting to teach the reader how to use quotes properly without making it over-complicated. Much of this was review for me, as it was taught repeatedly since my sophomore year of high school how to properly introduce and explain quotes in the context of an essay. However, it did teach me a few new ways of introducing quotes that are less awkward than some of the ways I have used prior. For example, using introductions like “X agrees when he/she writes”, rather than just saying “x says..”. Another interesting concept is blending your own words with the authors, which integrates the quote into your writing more seamlessly. I also found it interesting how the book gave examples on how not to introduce quotes. By saying a quote is someone’s idea, or saying outright that it is a quote, is redundant and unnecessary, as well as just awkward. When it comes to explaining the quotes, much of it is again review from high school. It does state that it is better to over-explain a quote rather than not explan it enough, which isn’t something I had really thought about.
Journal #6
In my essay, I spent the most time revising aspects of my essay concerning emotion. Talking about my emotions in a narrative is one of my weakest points with writing, and I needed to spend extra time making sure I described the way I felt vividly enough to connect back to my thesis in a meaningful way. The drafting process didn’t differ from my high school experience much in terms of the overall process, but the steps within the overall process were much more streamlined and useful. In high school, when doing peer reviews, it would often consist of people saying my essay was good, and pointing out a few grammatical errors within it. Personally, even if someone else’s essay was terrible, I would tell them it was good so I wouldn’t hurt their feelings, something that wasn’t useful for them at all. Here, the peer review was very helpful with allowing me to add my feelings at the right points within my essay. It also helped me to form a stronger thesis and conclusion, as well as organize the description of my grandparents better. The approach to this project matched most of my expectations for the class. I found that meeting with the teacher allowed me to fix the broader issues within my essay and narrow my focus better, and the peer review helped me to fix smaller, more specific problems. Overall, if I were to change anything, I would like to do the peer review in class, so I can talk to people about their essays right after I have read them, and give them the best feedback I can (as well as receive the best feedback I can). Aside from that, the process was very smooth and streamlined, and I found it to be beneficial to my learning.
Journal #7
The comments I found best from my peers were the ones that helped me to reorganize my thoughts, form a better thesis, and describe my emotions at the right time. These were helpful to me because I struggle with these aspects of writing a personal narrative, and getting advice on these topics was very helpful with connecting my concluding ideas into certain parts of my essay. The best comments I was able to offer my peers had to do with essay reorganization, mechanics, and adding detail. This is the area of writing where I am strongest, so I was able to offer a lot of feedback concerning these topics. Some points that weren’t captured on the page that were discussed during class had to do with expanding off of the ideas given to me by my peers. For example, there were points written down on my paper where something seemed out of place, but after a group discussion we were able to find another point in my essay where that topic would fit best. Something I wish came up during the peer review was how to best describe my emotions. I was told where I needed to add things, but I made the mistake of not taking the time to ask what kinds of emotional aspects I could add to my writing.
Journal #8
In this section of They Say I Say, the concept of argumentative writing is explored. Mainly, it focuses on framing an argument in context to enhance the meaning and educational value of what you are saying. As an introduction, a scenario is given where a speaker is arguing the validity of a certain philosopher’s ideas, but he gives no context or reason as to why he is defending the philosopher’s work. This makes the topic boring for the audience, and pointless because the knowledge has no application in their mind. It moves into the importance of providing a broader context, specifically using the ideas of other opposing opinions, to support your own arguments. It gives a number of helpful outlines and styles of integrating other people’s ideas into your own writing. Something I found interesting was the idea of introducing the other person’s opinion before your own, clarifying the topic for the reader and giving the writing a good hook to start off with. I also found it interesting the ways the book gave to introduce people’s ideas. For example, the “standard views” introduction forces the reader to consider what they’ve always thought was conventional, opening them up to new ideas they hadn’t thought of before. I found the templates involving an opinion you’ve always had to be less helpful, because rather than starting off by giving context, it goes straight to the idea that you are arguing your own opinion. This, I think, can have a negative impact on the reader if they disagree with you, because they may think less of the writing overall if they start out disagreeing with it. Overall, I found the reading to be very helpful. Argumentative writing is my favorite type of writing, and being able to use these strategies in my next essay will be enjoyable.
Journal #9
This time revising my essay, I spent the most time focusing on adding depth to my essay. When I write narratives, I typically write it in a very linear style, telling about event after event but not investing enough in the emotional aspects of each moment. In other words, I get so caught up telling what happened that I forget to say why it is important. While revising, I added what I felt at different important moments in the essay so I could connect that back to my conclusion. Another aspect of my essay I spent time revising was organization. I decided to move my descriptions of my grandparents to the beginning of my essay, so I could introduce the reader to them before going into detail about what they did during the night. This, I believe, made my essay much more meaningful and easier to understand. In terms of what I could change, there isn’t much. I think maybe adding another peer review could help, but this essay didn’t have enough depth to make that necessary. The process overall was very similar to what I did in high school, but the individual steps were much more helpful. Meeting with the teacher in person at a scheduled time helped me to focus on the bigger problems within my essay. In high school, this step was usually up to the student to schedule time for a meeting, and it was never certain whether the teacher would be able to read without distractions. The peer review, being a written assignment out of class, was infinitely more helpful than previous peer reviews where classmates would simply tell you how great your essay is. This project very much fit my expectations for the class. It took concepts that we were familiar with in writing and expanded on them in a way that benefitted my writing skills.
Journal #10
In this short story, Carver makes a connection between emotional well-being, as well as connections with others, and food. Initially, when Ann meets the baker, she knows that his life is likely unpleasant, due to the way he interacts while she tries to socialize with him. Though he makes a cake for her, there is a disconnect between them, a necessity to simply do business. There is no sharing of food, and no sharing of emotion. After Scotty gets hit by the car, neither Howard nor Ann can bring themselves to eat. They feel empty and drained, and paradoxically make themselves worse by refusing to eat. Their feelings, how distraught, anxious and sad they are, drive their feelings that eating is unnecessary. Meanwhile, the baker, unaware of how much pain they are feeling, begins to call them, angry about how they never came to pick up the cake he spent his time making. This builds anger between them, and after Scotty dies, Howard and Ann discover who the caller is, and go to the bakery filled with fury. However, once they arrive, Ann breaks down in front of the baker, and tells him why she is so angry. The baker responds with empathy, for the first time in the story, and gets them food. He explains to them the roots of his anger, and why he responded so irrationally to the cake not being picked up. The pain they experienced allowed them to connect on a deeper level than what would’ve been possible beforehand. The rich food, the diverse amounts of bread he brought them, is symbolic of the friendship that was built between them. Like the pain, the food was a shared experience, something that bonded them together. This is in stark contrast to the beginning of the story, where the baker treated the food as work, something emotionless and necessary, rather than something rich that should be shared.
Journal #11
In this Chapter of They Say I Say, the use of summarizing is explored, and different methods of effectively and ineffectively summarizing other people’s ideas are looked into in detail. The section begins by emphasizing the necessity to balance the ideas of others with your own ideas in argumentative papers. Too little summary and their ideas won’t be explained in enough depth, and too much summary can suppress the ideas of the writer and make the reading mundane and choppy for the reader. The section then goes into detail on how to properly represent the ideas of others. It does this by having the writer put themselves in the perspective of the opinion they disagree with, so they can properly represent their ideas without adding personal bias to other’s opinions. This is very important because being able to argue against the actual ideas of others, rather than your own misinterpretation of them, makes your opinion so much stronger. I’ve seen an abundance of misrepresentation of other’s opinions on the news, especially with politicians, and it is infuriating to watch them talk in circles rather than address the actual ideas of their opponents. At the end of the section, a number of ways to introduce other people’s ideas are given as substitutes to the bland methods typically used. I found this very useful because it employs the tone and emotions of the writer, rather than just stating their opinions. This helps to clarify to the reader what the opinion of the external source is, which strengthens your argument. Overall, the methods of summarizing given in this chapter are very useful, and I have used them in the past with great success. As a side note, I liked how they mentioned Jon Stewart and The Daily Show, as I thoroughly enjoyed watching him tear apart the ideas of those he disagreed with using satire.
Journal #12
Journal #13
Mitford makes a number of inflammatory claims about the embalming industry in her essay The American Way of Death Revisited. On page 42, Mitford makes the claim that the number of man-hours needed for a funeral is highly inflated compared to what it really is. The process of embalming takes about 3 hours to complete, but the number given by the funeral director is closer to 120, which involves logistics, paperwork and the clergyman and service. I agree that this number is inflated to make more money, as the process is relatively straightforward, involves a lot of waiting, and includes many prices that aren’t typically thought of by a grieving family. On page 44, Mitford claims that the process of embalming should be illegal to do without the permission of the family. I agree, as such a lengthy, expensive, and strange procedure should not be performed on a loved one without the family’s permission. On page 50, Mitford makes the claim that the process of embalming is very strange, and uses the reaction of foreigners to support her claim. I agree, as this lengthy, expensive, and somewhat gruesome procedure is performed for an end viewing time of a few hours tops. As a method of disposing of a corpse, it is highly inefficient, and to see a loved one in such a vividly lifelike state while dead is something that seems very strange. On page 52 Mitford claims that the language used by funeral directors is intentionally misleading, and avoids terminology that implies death and surgery to make the process seem more normal. I agree with this, as the substitution of words given by Mitford that funeral directors use seems to intentionally draw attention away from the process. It also seems to glorify the procedure, making it seem beautiful and peaceful rather than grotesque and unnatural.
Journal #14
Upon re-reading Considering the Lobster by David Foster Wallace, I’ve found that much of my thinking has remained the same, however I am able to read the text more comfortably. What seems more obvious is the fact that the main point of the essay is to open up the reader to something that is commonplace, but upon investigation, may be more cruel and barbaric than previously thought. Initially when reading, I was annoyed by the fact that Wallace brings up ambiguous points that cannot be answered by the information available. It seemed almost pointless, to present this information in the way of it maybe being true, but nobody’s sure. This differed from what I am used to, where a writer makes an argument and presents solid factual evidence to support it, and counter-evidence from opposing claims. However, upon reading the text again, I found that it was easier to swing between the opinions of both sides given in the essay, as well as accept the fact that this isn’t meant to argue a side, but open people’s minds up to the immoral things people do, but don’t think about because the act has become “normalized”.
Journal #15
I would feel like I was undertaking a moral responsibility by being directly involved in the death process of a family member. As uncomfortable as it is, the burial of dead has always been more than just “disposal” of a corpse. Although that is the main purpose, it is a way of sending off someone you love, who has cared for you and given you experiences that shaped your life. Whether someone is religious or not, the final burial, or “sending off” of a loved one has a symbolic value, and is a way of saying your final goodbyes before the earth takes them. Although challenging, being the one to send off someone you love is both necessary and, in the end, comforting. I believe Caitlyn Doughty feels it is so important to humanize the industrial crematorium because one, it is more environmentally friendly and cost-effective than embalming. It is also a very difficult job, burning the corpses of other people’s loved ones alone in a factory environment. When the family is involved, it makes the process much more meaningful, comforting, and easier to deal with. One passage from Doughty that surprised me was that the industrial crematorium process is done typically by one person working alone. This is surprising because it seems immoral to have someone working alone with the corpses of people’s loved ones, burning them indiscriminately for work and dong it again the next day. Something that did not surprise me was that Doughty thought family involvement in the process should be more commonplace. For someone who works in the crematorium, it must seem odd to burn the corpses of other people’s loved ones without the family present. It seems almost immoral, sending them off without the family there to take part. Something about Pollard’s essay that did not surprise me was how the fast food companies like McDonald’s use toxic ingredients in their food. We see constantly how bad our food is for us, and should all know by now that industrialized food will contain any slightly legal toxins that help to preserve or enhance the flavor of food. Something that did surprise me was the invention of the chicken nugget, and how that revolutionized our consumption of food. I had no idea that Tyson was involved in the process, or McDonald’s at that. The fact that they worked together to produce this kind of product is both breathtaking and horrifying. Something that surprised me about Mitford’s essay was how the process of embalming is only present in North America. I always thought this was a Christian-born tradition that stemmed from the idea of life after death, and that preserving the body had some sort of sacred value. However, the process of embalming is seen as strange to foreigners. Something that did not surprise me was that the funeral directors try to cover up the process of embalming, in order to prevent people from questioning the overall process. This, of course, prevents people from choosing more cost-effective, reasonable, and environmentally-friendly options, such as cremation.
Journal #11
In this Chapter of They Say I Say, the use of summarizing is explored, and different methods of effectively and ineffectively summarizing other people’s ideas are looked into in detail. The section begins by emphasizing the necessity to balance the ideas of others with your own ideas in argumentative papers. Too little summary and their ideas won’t be explained in enough depth, and too much summary can suppress the ideas of the writer and make the reading mundane and choppy for the reader. The section then goes into detail on how to properly represent the ideas of others. It does this by having the writer put themselves in the perspective of the opinion they disagree with, so they can properly represent their ideas without adding personal bias to other’s opinions. This is very important because being able to argue against the actual ideas of others, rather than your own misinterpretation of them, makes your opinion so much stronger. I’ve seen an abundance of misrepresentation of other’s opinions on the news, especially with politicians, and it is infuriating to watch them talk in circles rather than address the actual ideas of their opponents. At the end of the section, a number of ways to introduce other people’s ideas are given as substitutes to the bland methods typically used. I found this very useful because it employs the tone and emotions of the writer, rather than just stating their opinions. This helps to clarify to the reader what the opinion of the external source is, which strengthens your argument. Overall, the methods of summarizing given in this chapter are very useful, and I have used them in the past with great success. As a side note, I liked how they mentioned Jon Stewart and The Daily Show, as I thoroughly enjoyed watching him tear apart the ideas of those he disagreed with using satire.
Journal #10
In this short story, Carver makes a connection between emotional well-being, as well as connections with others, and food. Initially, when Ann meets the baker, she knows that his life is likely unpleasant, due to the way he interacts while she tries to socialize with him. Though he makes a cake for her, there is a disconnect between them, a necessity to simply do business. There is no sharing of food, and no sharing of emotion. After Scotty gets hit by the car, neither Howard nor Ann can bring themselves to eat. They feel empty and drained, and paradoxically make themselves worse by refusing to eat. Their feelings, how distraught, anxious and sad they are, drive their feelings that eating is unnecessary. Meanwhile, the baker, unaware of how much pain they are feeling, begins to call them, angry about how they never came to pick up the cake he spent his time making. This builds anger between them, and after Scotty dies, Howard and Ann discover who the caller is, and go to the bakery filled with fury. However, once they arrive, Ann breaks down in front of the baker, and tells him why she is so angry. The baker responds with empathy, for the first time in the story, and gets them food. He explains to them the roots of his anger, and why he responded so irrationally to the cake not being picked up. The pain they experienced allowed them to connect on a deeper level than what would’ve been possible beforehand. The rich food, the diverse amounts of bread he brought them, is symbolic of the friendship that was built between them. Like the pain, the food was a shared experience, something that bonded them together. This is in stark contrast to the beginning of the story, where the baker treated the food as work, something emotionless and necessary, rather than something rich that should be shared.
Journal #9
This time revising my essay, I spent the most time focusing on adding depth to my essay. When I write narratives, I typically write it in a very linear style, telling about event after event but not investing enough in the emotional aspects of each moment. In other words, I get so caught up telling what happened that I forget to say why it is important. While revising, I added what I felt at different important moments in the essay so I could connect that back to my conclusion. Another aspect of my essay I spent time revising was organization. I decided to move my descriptions of my grandparents to the beginning of my essay, so I could introduce the reader to them before going into detail about what they did during the night. This, I believe, made my essay much more meaningful and easier to understand. In terms of what I could change, there isn’t much. I think maybe adding another peer review could help, but this essay didn’t have enough depth to make that necessary. The process overall was very similar to what I did in high school, but the individual steps were much more helpful. Meeting with the teacher in person at a scheduled time helped me to focus on the bigger problems within my essay. In high school, this step was usually up to the student to schedule time for a meeting, and it was never certain whether the teacher would be able to read without distractions. The peer review, being a written assignment out of class, was infinitely more helpful than previous peer reviews where classmates would simply tell you how great your essay is. This project very much fit my expectations for the class. It took concepts that we were familiar with in writing and expanded on them in a way that benefitted my writing skills.
Journal #8
In this section of They Say I Say, the concept of argumentative writing is explored. Mainly, it focuses on framing an argument in context to enhance the meaning and educational value of what you are saying. As an introduction, a scenario is given where a speaker is arguing the validity of a certain philosopher’s ideas, but he gives no context or reason as to why he is defending the philosopher’s work. This makes the topic boring for the audience, and pointless because the knowledge has no application in their mind. It moves into the importance of providing a broader context, specifically using the ideas of other opposing opinions, to support your own arguments. It gives a number of helpful outlines and styles of integrating other people’s ideas into your own writing. Something I found interesting was the idea of introducing the other person’s opinion before your own, clarifying the topic for the reader and giving the writing a good hook to start off with. I also found it interesting the ways the book gave to introduce people’s ideas. For example, the “standard views” introduction forces the reader to consider what they’ve always thought was conventional, opening them up to new ideas they hadn’t thought of before. I found the templates involving an opinion you’ve always had to be less helpful, because rather than starting off by giving context, it goes straight to the idea that you are arguing your own opinion. This, I think, can have a negative impact on the reader if they disagree with you, because they may think less of the writing overall if they start out disagreeing with it. Overall, I found the reading to be very helpful. Argumentative writing is my favorite type of writing, and being able to use these strategies in my next essay will be enjoyable.
Draft #1
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out Scott Matthews 9/13/17 English It was that time of year again; my brother, dad and I were in New York City, staying in a beautiful hotel on East 53 street in Manhattan. It was almost time to leave for dinner at one of my grandparent’s favorite restaurants. We all started getting dressed, choosing what clothes to wear for this very special occasion. My dad would iron the clothes my brother and I chose to wear, since we were too young to do it ourselves. Once we got dressed, we went into the hotel elevator and down to the lobby, where the doorman wished us a good evening. We stepped out of the cool, air-conditioned hotel air into the hot and heavy air of New York City. The sun had gone down, but heat was still rising from the warm pavement. The smell of gasoline, coupled with the occasional smell of trash or sewage, permeated the air. Despite some of the unpleasantries, the skyline was beautiful; skyscrapers made of marble and glass illuminated the night, turning the sky a shade of orange unlike anything in New Hampshire. We walked down the busy streets, gazing up at these massive buildings surrounding us on our way to my grandparent’s apartment. It wasn’t too far a walk, and soon enough we could see Pop and Joanne standing on the sidewalk waving to us. It was wonderful to see them again; it felt like it had been so long, and it was such a wonderful experience the last time we visited. We all embraced, and I could feel their sunglasses hanging from their shirts push hard against my chest, just as they had done the last time. We quickly hailed a cab, filled with anticipation about the meal to come. We piled in, and drove to the Palm Restaurant. The restaurant itself looked very much like a typical steakhouse. The supports were made of aging wood, and the tables were a dark, smooth and polished. The seats were covered with maroon leather, with plush padding underneath. The one thing that made this restaurant unique was the walls; they were covered with professional paintings of actors and actresses, famous news anchors, TV personalities, and frequent visitors of the restaurant. I looked around, trying to find some recognizable faces with my limited knowledge of famous people. Joanne showed us her and Pop’s painting on the wall across from us. They visited frequently enough to have their faces painted on the wall, as well as have their own favorite waiter whom they could request at the beginning of the night. Joanne is about 15 years younger than Pop; she’s about 5 foot 7, has a light frame, and has brown hair and eyes. She has quite the personality; she is a kind and loving person, a strong, resilient leader, and one hell of a businesswoman. If her requests aren’t met down to the finest detail, she won’t be satisfied. Luckily, the restaurant staff knew her well, and did everything perfectly for her.
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out To start, we decided to order some appetizers. The waiter handed us the menu, and we all began to browse over the different foods we could get. While my dad, Pop and Joanne discussed different options, my brother and I tried to decipher the fanciful names of the spices, sauces and styles of preparation mentioned in the descriptions. After asking what these were, we narrowed down our options to a few different dishes. We knew we wanted to get the prawns because of how much we loved shrimp, but we couldn’t decide between the crabcakes or the scallops. When Joanne heard us trying to decide between them, she told us not to worry and ordered both for us. She was a foodie, and loved giving us the experience of trying new types of food. While we waited for the appetizers to come, we started catching up on what had happened in our lives recently. Pop and Joanne asked my brother and I what we had done recently, and we talked about how school was going, the sports we were playing, and the hiking and swimming we had done over the summer. Overall, the stories were relatively boring and uneventful, especially compared to the ones Pop and Joanne told. They started with their visit to Africa, and the safari they went on. Then, they transitioned into business trips they had taken to Shanghai, Hong Kong, and other major Asian market cities. They also talked about their trip to Cambodia, which they had taken over 10 years ago. This transitioned into my brother and I asking Pop about his time in Vietnam. Pop is in his seventies, with a heavier build and a balding head which he strategically hides by combing his hair over his forehead. He is a very social and very intelligent person, who loves telling stories and the history behind them. He talked about his time as a Green Beret, and a mission he went on with a pilot dive-bombing in Cambodia. He was always so good at telling stories. He could hook people in with ease, and describe events in vivid detail while also providing a comedic aspect to even the most serious of stories. It was fascinating; I never knew how many adventures they had gone on together. I always thought they stayed in New York City most of the time living lazily in their apartment, not out exploring the world. When The appetizers arrived, they looked amazing. Joanne said they “weren’t just food, but pieces of art… they’re beautiful”. The prawns were huge, almost the size of my hand, hanging around a beautifully designed glass cup filled with cocktail sauce. The crabcakes were small, filled with color from the vegetables with pieces of orange and white crab dispersed throughout. The scallops were golden brown, perfectly cooked on a plate with sauce and vegetables decorating the edges. The prawns had just the right texture; they were thick, and firm, but not too chewy or fibrous. The crabcakes were just the right balance of vegetables with rich, sweet crab. The scallops were sweet and salty, and practically fell apart in your mouth. The food was gone almost as quickly as it had arrived. Joanne asked us how it all was, and we all told her it was delicious. A smile grew across her face; she loved giving us this experience, and it made her happy to see how satisfied we were. After the appetizers, we ordered our entrees. Pop and Joanne decided to split a steak together, while my brother, my dad and I each got an 8 ounce steak with lobster. While we waited anxiously for the food to arrive, Joanne shifted the conversation away from them and
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out towards my brother and I. She asked us if we kept up with current events or politics. I was just starting to become interested in these sorts of things, so I was glad she brought it up. She asked us about political candidates we were interested in, different issues occurring in America and around the world, and what topics we were most interested in. She did this in a way that didn’t make either of us feel like our opinions were being threatened, so we were able to talk about everything and how we felt. That was a really nice experience, being able to share my opinions without someone constantly interrupting and attacking my thoughts and ideas. Then, Pop, my dad and I started talking about history, mainly medieval European times, but a bit of Middle-Eastern and Asian history as well. The conversation made me feel even better than the food did. When the Entrees arrived, the smells of the food followed with it. Joanne had described the steak here as having “fat marbled throughout the meat and cooked perfectly, so that the meat isn’t hard to chew, but still retains all of its juices and flavor”. It was just as good as she described it. The seasoning smelled delicious, and the scent of the steak fats and lobster mixed in the air with it. I cut into the steak, and it required almost no effort. Juices spilled out of the meat, and the colors that were exposed were amazing. The middle of the steak was red, which faded into a light pink and eventually into the brown at the surface. I took my first bite; the outside was crisp and rich with flavor, and the inside was tender and easy to chew. The lobster was a hardshell, which made it difficult for me to break into. Joanne called over the waiter, who promptly broke apart the shell perfectly and exposed all the meat. The lobster was sweet and rich, with a hint of saltiness. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Once we thought the meal was over, Joanne asked us if we wanted dessert. We were given the dessert menu, and were promptly drawn to a seven layer chocolate cake. The cake was about 5 inches tall, with fluffy cake sandwiched between layers of thick, creamy chocolate frosting. It was a great way to end a fun, eventful and beautiful evening. At the time, these dinners were a great time to spend with family, eating delicious food and telling each other stories. I got to experience some of the best food in New York City, and spend quality time with some of the people I love most in life. However, looking back on these events, they have a newfound, greater importance to me. About a year ago, Pop was diagnosed with alzheimer’s disease. It was devastating, watching someone who was once the best storyteller I knew now have trouble remembering his daughter’s name. As it has progressed, forming complete sentences has become hard for him, and he now uses gestures with his hands to make up for the lack of words. As depressing as it is, I’m glad I was able to experience these dinners while he was still able to to tell these wonderful stories in all their grandeur. It allowed me to experience him the way my dad did. I got to see what kind of person he was, hear of the adventures he went on and the history he knew firsthand. I got to see the love and compassion between Pop and my dad, and how much Pop’s behavior influenced how my dad raised me. I am
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out incredibly grateful for this, and especially thankful towards Joanne for making these wonderful meals happen. 1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out Scott Matthews 9/13/17 English 110 Section H-4 It was that time of year again; my brother, dad and I were in New York City, staying in a beautiful hotel on East 53 street in Manhattan. It was almost time to leave for dinner at one of my grandparent’s favorite restaurants. We all started getting dressed, choosing what clothes to wear for this very special occasion. My dad would iron the clothes my brother and I chose to wear, since we were too young to do it ourselves. Once we got dressed, we went into the hotel elevator and down to the lobby, where the doorman wished us a good evening. We stepped out of the cool, air-conditioned hotel air into the hot and heavy air of New York City. The sun had gone down, but heat was still rising from the warm pavement. The smell of gasoline, coupled with the occasional smell of trash or sewage, permeated the air. Despite some of the unpleasantries, the skyline was beautiful; skyscrapers made of marble and glass illuminated the night, turning the sky a shade of orange unlike anything in New Hampshire. We walked down the busy streets, gazing up at these massive buildings surrounding us on our way to my grandparent’s apartment. It wasn’t too far a walk, and soon enough we could see Pop and Joanne standing on the sidewalk waving to us. It was wonderful to see them again; it felt like it had been so long, and it was such a wonderful experience the last time we visited. We all embraced, and I could feel their sunglasses hanging from their shirts push hard against my chest, just as they had done the last time. We quickly hailed a cab, filled with anticipation about the meal to come. We piled in, and drove to the Palm Restaurant. The restaurant itself looked very much like a typical steakhouse. The supports were made of aging wood, and the tables were a dark, smooth and polished. The seats were covered with maroon leather, with plush padding underneath. The one thing that made this restaurant unique was the walls; they were covered with professional paintings of actors and actresses, famous news anchors, TV personalities, and frequent visitors of the restaurant. I looked around, trying to find some recognizable faces with my limited knowledge of famous people. Joanne showed us her and Pop’s painting on the wall across from us. They visited frequently enough to have their faces painted on the wall, as well as have their own favorite waiter whom they could request at the beginning of the night. Joanne is about 15 years younger than Pop; she’s about 5 foot 7, has a light frame, and has brown hair and eyes. She has quite the personality; she is a kind and loving person, a strong, resilient leader, and one hell of a businesswoman. If her requests aren’t met down to the finest detail, she won’t be satisfied. Luckily, the restaurant staff knew her well, and did everything perfectly for her.
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out To start, we decided to order some appetizers. The waiter handed us the menu, and we all began to browse over the different foods we could get. While my dad, Pop and Joanne discussed different options, my brother and I tried to decipher the fanciful names of the spices, sauces and styles of preparation mentioned in the descriptions. After asking what these were, we narrowed down our options to a few different dishes. We knew we wanted to get the prawns because of how much we loved shrimp, but we couldn’t decide between the crabcakes or the scallops. When Joanne heard us trying to decide between them, she told us not to worry and ordered both for us. She was a foodie, and loved giving us the experience of trying new types of food. While we waited for the appetizers to come, we started catching up on what had happened in our lives recently. Pop and Joanne asked my brother and I what we had done recently, and we talked about how school was going, the sports we were playing, and the hiking and swimming we had done over the summer. Overall, the stories were relatively boring and uneventful, especially compared to the ones Pop and Joanne told. They started with their visit to Africa, and the safari they went on. Then, they transitioned into business trips they had taken to Shanghai, Hong Kong, and other major Asian market cities. They also talked about their trip to Cambodia, which they had taken over 10 years ago. This transitioned into my brother and I asking Pop about his time in Vietnam. Pop is in his seventies, with a heavier build and a balding head which he strategically hides by combing his hair over his forehead. He is a very social and very intelligent person, who loves telling stories and the history behind them. He talked about his time as a Green Beret, and a mission he went on with a pilot dive-bombing in Cambodia. He was always so good at telling stories. He could hook people in with ease, and describe events in vivid detail while also providing a comedic aspect to even the most serious of stories. It was fascinating; I never knew how many adventures they had gone on together. I always thought they stayed in New York City most of the time living lazily in their apartment, not out exploring the world. When The appetizers arrived, they looked amazing. Joanne said they “weren’t just food, but pieces of art… they’re beautiful”. The prawns were huge, almost the size of my hand, hanging around a beautifully designed glass cup filled with cocktail sauce. The crabcakes were small, filled with color from the vegetables with pieces of orange and white crab dispersed throughout. The scallops were golden brown, perfectly cooked on a plate with sauce and vegetables decorating the edges. The prawns had just the right texture; they were thick, and firm, but not too chewy or fibrous. The crabcakes were just the right balance of vegetables with rich, sweet crab. The scallops were sweet and salty, and practically fell apart in your mouth. The food was gone almost as quickly as it had arrived. Joanne asked us how it all was, and we all told her it was delicious. A smile grew across her face; she loved giving us this experience, and it made her happy to see how satisfied we were. After the appetizers, we ordered our entrees. Pop and Joanne decided to split a steak together, while my brother, my dad and I each got an 8 ounce steak with lobster. While we waited anxiously for the food to arrive, Joanne shifted the conversation away from them and
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cuttowards my brother and I. She asked us if we kept up with current events or politics. I was just starting to become interested in these sorts of things, so I was glad she brought it up. She asked us about political candidates we were interested in, different issues occurring in America and around the world, and what topics we were most interested in. She did this in a way that didn’t make either of us feel like our opinions were being threatened, so we were able to talk about everything and how we felt. That was a really nice experience, being able to share my opinions without someone constantly interrupting and attacking my thoughts and ideas. Then, Pop, my dad and I started talking about history, mainly medieval European times, but a bit of Middle-Eastern and Asian history as well. The conversation made me feel even better than the food did. When the Entrees arrived, the smells of the food followed with it. Joanne had described the steak here as having “fat marbled throughout the meat and cooked perfectly, so that the meat isn’t hard to chew, but still retains all of its juices and flavor”. It was just as good as she described it. The seasoning smelled delicious, and the scent of the steak fats and lobster mixed in the air with it. I cut into the steak, and it required almost no effort. Juices spilled out of the meat, and the colors that were exposed were amazing. The middle of the steak was red, which faded into a light pink and eventually into the brown at the surface. I took my first bite; the outside was crisp and rich with flavor, and the inside was tender and easy to chew. The lobster was a hardshell, which made it difficult for me to break into. Joanne called over the waiter, who promptly broke apart the shell perfectly and exposed all the meat. The lobster was sweet and rich, with a hint of saltiness. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Once we thought the meal was over, Joanne asked us if we wanted dessert. We were given the dessert menu, and were promptly drawn to a seven layer chocolate cake. The cake was about 5 inches tall, with fluffy cake sandwiched between layers of thick, creamy chocolate frosting. It was a great way to end a fun, eventful and beautiful evening. At the time, these dinners were a great time to spend with family, eating delicious food and telling each other stories. I got to experience some of the best food in New York City, and spend quality time with some of the people I love most in life. However, looking back on these events, they have a newfound, greater importance to me. About a year ago, Pop was diagnosed with alzheimer’s disease. It was devastating, watching someone who was once the best storyteller I knew now have trouble remembering his daughter’s name. As it has progressed, forming complete sentences has become hard for him, and he now uses gestures with his hands to make up for the lack of words. As depressing as it is, I’m glad I was able to experience these dinners while he was still able to to tell these wonderful stories in all their grandeur. It allowed me to experience him the way my dad did. I got to see what kind of person he was, hear of the adventures he went on and the history he knew firsthand. I got to see the love and compassion between Pop and my dad, and how much Pop’s behavior influenced how my dad raised me. I am
1. Descriptions of my emotions in response to events . Descriptions of my grandparents and family, and how much more is needed to understand them as people 3. What parts are unnecessary and can be cut out incredibly grateful for this, and especially thankful towards Joanne for making these wonderful meals happen.
Journal #6
In my essay, I spent the most time revising aspects of my essay concerning emotion. Talking about my emotions in a narrative is one of my weakest points with writing, and I needed to spend extra time making sure I described the way I felt vividly enough to connect back to my thesis in a meaningful way. The drafting process didn’t differ from my high school experience much in terms of the overall process, but the steps within the overall process were much more streamlined and useful. In high school, when doing peer reviews, it would often consist of people saying my essay was good, and pointing out a few grammatical errors within it. Personally, even if someone else’s essay was terrible, I would tell them it was good so I wouldn’t hurt their feelings, something that wasn’t useful for them at all. Here, the peer review was very helpful with allowing me to add my feelings at the right points within my essay. It also helped me to form a stronger thesis and conclusion, as well as organize the description of my grandparents better. The approach to this project matched most of my expectations for the class. I found that meeting with the teacher allowed me to fix the broader issues within my essay and narrow my focus better, and the peer review helped me to fix smaller, more specific problems. Overall, if I were to change anything, I would like to do the peer review in class, so I can talk to people about their essays right after I have read them, and give them the best feedback I can (as well as receive the best feedback I can). Aside from that, the process was very smooth and streamlined, and I found it to be beneficial to my learning.
Draft #2 Favorite Meal
The Meal of a Lifetime
It was that time of year again; my brother, dad and I were in New York City, staying in a beautiful hotel on East 53 street in Manhattan. It was almost time to leave for dinner at one of my grandparent’s favorite restaurants. We all started getting dressed, choosing what clothes to wear for this very special occasion. My dad would iron the clothes my brother and I chose to wear, since we were too young to do it ourselves. Once we got dressed, we went into the hotel elevator and down to the lobby, where the doorman wished us a good evening. We stepped out of the cool, air-conditioned hotel air into the hot and heavy air of New York City. The sun had gone down, but heat was still diffusing off the warm pavement. The smell of gasoline, coupled with the occasional smell of trash or sewage, permeated the air. Despite some of the unpleasantries, the skyline was beautiful; skyscrapers made of marble and glass illuminated the night, turning the sky a shade of orange unlike anything in New Hampshire. We walked down the busy streets, gazing up at these massive buildings surrounding us on our way to my grandparent’s apartment. It wasn’t too far a walk, and soon enough we could see my grandparents, Pop and Joanne, standing on the sidewalk waving to us. It was wonderful to see them again; it felt like it had been so long, and it was such a wonderful experience the last time we visited. These visits were something unique; not only did I get to experience some of the best quality food in the world, I got to experience my grandparents, their enlightening personalities, and get to learn who they are as people. We all embraced, and I could feel their sunglasses hanging from their shirts push hard against my chest, just as they had done the last time. We quickly hailed a cab, filled with anticipation about the meal to come. We piled in, and drove to the Palm Restaurant.
The restaurant itself looked very much like a typical steakhouse. The supports were made of aging wood, and the tables were a dark, smooth and polished. The seats were covered with maroon leather, with plush padding underneath. The one thing that made this restaurant unique was the walls; they were covered with professional paintings of actors and actresses, famous news anchors, TV personalities, and frequent visitors of the restaurant. I looked around, trying to find some recognizable faces with my limited knowledge of famous people. Joanne showed us her and Pop’s painting on the wall across from us. They visited frequently enough to have their faces painted on the wall, as well as have their own favorite waiter whom they could request at the beginning of the night. Pop is in his seventies, with a heavier build and a balding head which he strategically hides by combing his hair over his forehead. He is a very social and very intelligent person, who loves telling stories and the history behind them. Joanne is about 15 years younger than Pop; she’s about 5 foot 7, has a light frame, and has brown hair and eyes. She has quite the personality; she is a kind and loving person, a strong, resilient leader, and one hell of a businesswoman. If her requests aren’t met down to the finest detail, she won’t be satisfied. This ensured that we always got the best service possible, something that I love about her. Her drive to be kind and giving to the people she loves is beyond anything I’ve seen in anyone other person I’ve met.. Luckily, the restaurant staff knew her well, and did everything perfectly for her.
To start, we decided to order some appetizers. The waiter handed us the menu, and we all began to browse over the different foods we could get. While my dad, Pop and Joanne discussed different options, my brother and I tried to decipher the fanciful names of the spices, sauces and styles of preparation mentioned in the descriptions. After asking what these were, we narrowed down our options to a few different dishes. We knew we wanted to get the prawns because of how much we loved shrimp, but we couldn’t decide between the crabcakes or the scallops. When Joanne heard us trying to decide between them, she told us not to worry and ordered both for us. She was a foodie, and loved giving us the experience of trying new types of food. It made the experience so much more memorable and meaningful, having someone so kind allow us to try all these different types of food.
While we waited for the appetizers to come, we started catching up on what had happened in our lives recently. Pop and Joanne asked my brother and I what we had done recently, and we talked about how school was going, the sports we were playing, and the hiking and swimming we had done over the summer. Overall, the stories were relatively boring and uneventful, especially compared to the ones Pop and Joanne told. They started with their visit to Africa, and the safari they went on. Then, they transitioned into business trips they had taken to Shanghai, Hong Kong, and other major Asian market cities. They also talked about their trip to Cambodia, which they had taken over 10 years ago. This transitioned into my brother and I asking Pop about his time in Vietnam. He talked about his time as a Green Beret, and a mission he went on with a pilot dive-bombing in Cambodia. He went into great detail about the experience, flying over the jungle into territory that he technically wasn’t legally allowed to be in, which he joked about. He told us about the intense G-forces as they plummeted at the ground towards their target, and how he passed out when they pulled out of the dive. He was always so good at telling stories. He could hook people in with ease, and describe events in vivid detail while also providing a comedic aspect to even the most serious of stories. It was fascinating; I never knew how many adventures they had gone on together. I always thought they stayed in New York City most of the time living lazily in their apartment, not out exploring the world.
When The appetizers arrived, they looked amazing. Joanne said they “weren’t just food, but pieces of art… they’re beautiful”. The prawns were huge, almost the size of my hand, hanging around a beautifully designed glass cup filled with cocktail sauce. The crabcakes were small, filled with color from the vegetables with pieces of orange and white crab dispersed throughout. The scallops were golden brown, perfectly cooked on a plate with sauce and vegetables decorating the edges. The prawns had just the right texture; they were thick, and firm, but not too chewy or fibrous. The crabcakes were just the right balance of vegetables with rich, sweet crab. The scallops were sweet and salty, and practically fell apart in your mouth. The food was gone almost as quickly as it had arrived. Joanne asked us how it all was, and we all told her it was delicious. A smile grew across her face; she loved giving us this experience, and it made her happy to see how satisfied we were.
After the appetizers, we ordered our entrees. Pop and Joanne decided to split a steak together, while my brother, my dad and I each got an 8 ounce steak with lobster. While we waited anxiously for the food to arrive, Joanne shifted the conversation away from them and towards my brother and I. She asked us if we kept up with current events or politics. I was just starting to become interested in these sorts of things, so I was glad she brought it up. She asked us about political candidates we were interested in, different issues occurring in America and around the world, and what topics we were most interested in. She did this in a way that didn’t make either of us feel like our opinions were being threatened, so we were able to talk about everything and how we felt. That was a really nice experience, being able to share my opinions without someone constantly interrupting and attacking my thoughts and ideas. Then, Pop, my dad and I started talking about history, mainly medieval European times, but a bit of Middle-Eastern and Asian history as well. The conversation made me feel even better than the food did.
When the Entrees arrived, the smells of the food followed with it. Joanne had described the steak here as having “fat marbled throughout the meat and cooked perfectly, so that the meat isn’t hard to chew, but still retains all of its juices and flavor”. It was just as good as she described it. The seasoning smelled delicious, and the scent of the steak fats and lobster mixed in the air with it. I cut into the steak, and it required almost no effort. Juices spilled out of the meat, and the colors that were exposed were amazing. The middle of the steak was red, which faded into a light pink and eventually into the brown at the surface. I took my first bite; the outside was crisp and rich with flavor, and the inside was tender and easy to chew. The lobster was a hardshell, which made it difficult for me to break into. Joanne called over the waiter, who promptly broke apart the shell perfectly and exposed all the meat. The lobster was sweet and rich, with a hint of saltiness. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Once we thought the meal was over, Joanne asked us if we wanted dessert. We were given the dessert menu, and were promptly drawn to a seven layer chocolate cake. The cake was about 5 inches tall, with fluffy cake sandwiched between layers of thick, creamy chocolate frosting. It was a great way to end a fun, eventful and beautiful evening.
At the time, these dinners were a great time to spend with family, eating delicious food and telling each other stories. I got to experience some of the best food in New York City, and spend quality time with some of the people I love most in life. However, looking back on these events, they have a newfound, greater importance to me. About a year ago, Pop was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It was devastating, watching someone who was once the best storyteller I knew now have trouble remembering his daughter’s name. As it has progressed, forming complete sentences has become hard for him, and he now uses gestures with his hands to make up for the lack of words. As depressing as it is, I’m glad I was able to experience these dinners while he was still able to to tell these wonderful stories in all their grandeur. It allowed me to experience him the way my dad did. I got to see what kind of person he was, hear of the adventures he went on and the history he knew firsthand. I got to see the love and compassion between Pop and my dad, and how much Pop’s behavior influenced how my dad raised me. Not only this, but I was inspired by Joanne’s incredible personality. Her strength, kindness, and ability to organize the most extravagant of events is awe-inspiring. Seeing her strength and perseverance, even in the face of the most daunting hardships has helped me to deal with pain in my own life.I am incredibly grateful for this, and especially thankful towards Joanne for making these wonderful meals happen.
Journal #7
The comments I found best from my peers were the ones that helped me to reorganize my thoughts, form a better thesis, and describe my emotions at the right time. These were helpful to me because I struggle with these aspects of writing a personal narrative, and getting advice on these topics was very helpful with connecting my concluding ideas into certain parts of my essay. The best comments I was able to offer my peers had to do with essay reorganization, mechanics, and adding detail. This is the area of writing where I am strongest, so I was able to offer a lot of feedback concerning these topics. Some points that weren’t captured on the page that were discussed during class had to do with expanding off of the ideas given to me by my peers. For example, there were points written down on my paper where something seemed out of place, but after a group discussion we were able to find another point in my essay where that topic would fit best. Something I wish came up during the peer review was how to best describe my emotions. I was told where I needed to add things, but I made the mistake of not taking the time to ask what kinds of emotional aspects I could add to my writing.
